The Adventures of Skitchy the Skunk
by blind2d
Summary: An HTF fanfic of my original character Skitchy the Skunk interacting with the canon characters. Some good drama and a little romance and humor.
1. Chapter 1

Skitchy Goes to the Park:

An HTF (Happy Tree Friends) Fanfic featuring OC (Original Character) Skitchy the Skunk.

Also featuring: Petunia, Giggles, Disco Bear, Lumpy, Cuddles, Lammy and Handy.

HTF is owned by Mondo Media. All characters and intellectual copyrights are theirs.

It was a sunny afternoon in the wood when Giggles (pink female chipmunk with a red bow) and Petunia (blue-furred girl skunk with a flower on her forehead) sat together on a fallen log. Birds chirped in the blue sky as a few wisps of clouds hovered around the yellow sun. Petunia was talking to Giggles about Cuddles (Giggles' boyfriend) when they were rudely interrupted by the entrance of an unwanted character.

"Oh _heeeeey_," began Disco Bear (bear with afro and yellow outfit), smiling flirtatiously. "How are _you_ ladies doing on this _fine_ day?"

"Hrrr…" grumbled Giggles, eyebrows furrowed.

"Hmph!" declared Petunia, sharply twisting her head away from the afro-ed male.

"Aw, heh heh," responded Disco Bear, his hunger for romance not sated. "Don't be like that. I just got here. What's say we have some _fun_?"

As if by magic, a mirrored disco ball drops from the branches above the three. Some music starts playing as a myriad of lights flit around the area, whose original main lighting has dimmed. Disco Bear begins to dance, his 'fro flopping around and his feet stepping with precision. The bear grabs Giggles' hand and twirls her into becoming his dance partner as Petunia looks on in muted revulsion. Giggles stared into Disco Bear's half-closed eyes, wondering if maybe this wasn't so bad after all…

Meanwhile…

Cuddles (yellow rabbit boy with pink bunny slippers) and Skitchy (orange skunk with glasses and hat) were doing what they always did when the weather was good and they felt like hanging out: they skateboarded down the main road of Treeville, USA. The two friends grinned and laughed as they glided, the velocity-created wind whipping at their happy faces.

"Hey Skitchy, watch this!" announced Cuddles just before launching off a small bump in the sidewalk and sailing over a red fire hydrant. The rabbit's wheels touched down perfectly, and then Cuddles popped the board up into his hand.

"Wow, Cuds!" exclaimed the orange skunk as he too skidded to a stop. "That was rad!"

"'Rad'?" Cuddles mocked. "What year do you think this is, '92?"

"Yeah, right," Skitchy retorted. "And what _should_ I say, huh? 'Sick'? Give me a break!"

"Whatever," the rabbit looked down for a second. "Changing the subject, where do you want to skate next?"

"Well, I was thinking we could check out the new path in the woods…"

"Pfff," replied Cuddles. "That's boring. Tell you what, _you_ can go skate the woods, and _I'll_ get a bite to eat. Afterwards we'll meet up here, okay?"

"Sure!" the skunk smiled. "See you then!"

The orange skunk with the yellow stripe stepped onto his skate and made for the trees surrounding the town while the one in pink bunny slippers moseyed on down to the nearby diner.

An orange blur weaved in and out of trees along the newly-installed pavement in the Treeville Forest. It wasn't long before something caught Skitchy's eye, however, and he put on the brakes (so to speak).

There in a clearing was a random disco, with the bear of the same name and Giggles cutting a rug while Petunia sat moodily. Skitchy's stomach did a quick backflip when he caught sight of the blue skunk with the light blue stripe. Ever since that fateful day at the hospital* the skater had had a huge crush on the navy-hued neat-freak, and today was no different. Skitchy set his board down under a tree near the path and crept up on the clearing.

Disco Bear was in the middle of a salsa with Giggles when Skitchy burst out of the bushes beside Petunia. She jumped in surprise, and distracted the dancing couple with a short shriek.

"Hey…" the brown-shoed bear with the puffy hair remarked. "Who's this clown spoiling my dance party?"

"Well… my name's Skitchy, and I really didn't mean to… *mumble mumble*", the orange skunk petered out.

"Ah ha ha ha," Disco Bear laughed suavely. "And just look at your hat and glasses… completely uncool. I'm sorry my friend, but you just have no chance with _these_ ladies."

As the boys were discussing Skitchy's appearance, the female skunk and bear walked off, leaving the two alone with their conversation.

Meanwhile…

Cuddles sat at the counter of the diner waiting for his food order to arrive. While he waited he sipped at his milkshake.

"Here you go, Cuddles!" Lammy said, placing the order of hamburger and fries before the yellow rabbit with a smile.

"Thanks Lammy!" Cuddles acknowledged. He then proceeded to dig in to his meal.

Suddenly the door opened and in walked Petunia and Giggles. They were talking happily as they made their way to the counter. Giggles sat beside Cuddles, whose rosy cheeks darkened slightly when the rose-colored chipmunk smiled at him in that special way. Petunia ordered for herself a light salad as the couple beside her stared into each other's eyes.

Back at the woods…

Since Disco Bear had his eyes closed arrogantly while lecturing Skitchy on fashion, he hadn't noticed that both of his targets of passion had already vacated the premises. Skitchy thought he would do the same, and soon Disco Bear was all alone in the trees. He only had the sound of birds, fading skateboard wheels, and his own voice to keep him company.

At the diner…

Lammy served the other girls their meals and everyone was enjoying being together. The four were talking and smiling and generally happy. So happy in fact, that Cuddles completely forgot about his appointment with Skitchy and went directly home after he finished his meal, leaving the orange skunk waiting at the corner. Skitchy eventually decided to give up on his friend, and went to bed a little angry that night.

_What did I do? _He thought to himself while lying awake under his sheets. _Obviously something, if Cuddles didn't even bother to call… Why is he upset with me? And why can't I talk to Petunia? I'm pretty sure she likes me, and I definitely like her, so… why?_

These and other thoughts swirled in the young skunk's head as insomnia continued its assault.

The next day…

Was Monday, so Skitchy went to work at the construction site with his good friend and boss Handy, the beaver who had no hands. Skitchy's usual baseball cap was replaced by a hard hat similar to Handy's. The two were building a barn for Lumpy, the blue moose with the crooked antlers, who was trying (once again) to start a farm. Handy held the crossbeams up with his body while Skitchy nailed them securely into place. After a couple of hours, they took a quick break and walked to Giggles' and Petunia's lemonade stand.

"Hi there, ladies!" greeted the beaver cheerily.

"Hello gentlemen," Giggles replied.

"Huh…huh… hi there… Petunia…" Skitchy fidgeted.

"Hi Skitchy," she smiled in a friendly sort of way. "Did you two come here for some lemonade?"

"Yes ma'am," Handy responded. "We've been hard at work helping Lumpy build his barn, so we're real thirsty."

"Well all our lemonade is guaranteed to be cool and refreshing!" the pink chipmunk happily pitched. "So just help yourselves to a glass! It's on the house!"

"Gee thanks!" Handy took a few gulps from the proffered glass and sighed in satisfaction.

"Would you like some, Skitchy?" the female skunk asked, holding out a cup filled with the yellow liquid.

"Uh… um…" the orange and bespectacled skunk nervously struggled to find words. "Um… okay…"

He took the cup from Petunia and drank the sweet and sour concoction. The two workmen smiled at each other, both quenched by the lemonade made by the cute girls at the stand.

"Thanks again!" "waved" Handy as he headed on back to the construction site.

"Come back any time!" Giggles called after him.

"Thank you… for the… lemonade… P-P-Petunia…" Skitchy muttered shyly.

"You're welcome," she smiled, taking the empty glass from the other skunk's shaking hand.

"Um… er…" Skitchy continued to struggle. "N-nice to s-s-see you ag-ag-again…"

"The feeling's mutual," Petunia smirked flirtatiously.

"I… I gotta go!" the skunk ran off to join his employer as Petunia's expression turned puzzled.

"What's his problem?" she asked Giggles, who merely shrugged in response.

Back at the barn…

Skitchy perched on one of the rafters nailing the beams together while below him Handy was busy studying the blueprints for the roof. Just then Lumpy walked by in a straw hat carrying a large garden shovel.

"Oh, hello!" the tall blue moose smiled goofily at the two workers.

The occupied Tree Friends were too focused on their respective tasks to return Lumpy's salutation, so the failure of a farmer just shrugged and gave his signature "Oh well," then headed off to work in his field.

Upon arrival, Lumpy began tilling the soil around his pumpkin patch. The sun beat down, and the moose made the mistake of looking directly at its painful brilliance. Surprised at the intensity of light, he stumbled backwards and tripped over one of the orange gourds. The lazy-eyed laborer fell sideways, his upside-down antler embedding itself in another pumpkin. His hat had fallen off, and he grunted while trying to free himself. Lumpy managed to get to his feet, but the pumpkin remained stuck on the side of his head. Still dizzy from the sun and the fall, the farmer now reeled around off balance. His lumbering foot stepped on the angled part of his shovel, causing the handle to pop up into his face and knock the moose down once more. This time he fell on his other side, his upright antler planting itself in the soft earth.

Meanwhile nearby…

Disco Bear was walking through the park enjoying his walkman when he noticed Nutty (the green squirrel covered in candy) trying to get his attention from a bench. Apparently the sugar-addicted fellow wished to share some of his large bag of sweet loot that he had brought to the park that day with the dance master. Disco Bear shrugged and thought _why not?_ He reached his hand into the bag and shoved some of the sugary stuff into his mouth.

"Oh _yeeeaa_ah…" the bell-bottom pants-wearing ladies' man declared. "Thank you, my friend. This is _soo groooovy_…"

Disco Bear continued to eat the candy until Nutty became concerned and possessive. The lime squirrel snatched the bag away from the seemingly hungry bear, causing Disco to then appear downcast. Either ignorant of or not caring for the bear's feelings, Nutty scurried off to another part of the forest to enjoy his treats in solitude. Disco Bear, his head swirling from the large amount of sugar he had quickly ingested, staggered off into the trees, where he came upon a slumbering Lumpy.

The moose had been unable to remove his antler from the ground, and so had fallen asleep due to both the effort and the hot sun. The afro-ed bear, still out of sorts from his sugar rush, mistook the pumpkin on Lumpy's antler for Giggles, and began to dance with "her", chuckling in his swarthy voice.

The real Giggles and Petunia walked by the scene after finishing their fun at the lemonade stand, and laughed heartily at the sight.

They soon came upon the barn that Handy and Skitchy had constructed. All that was left to do was painting it, and it would be finished.

"Hi Skitchy! Hi Handy!" the girls greeted cheerfully.

The two waved back at the chipmunk and skunk, who kept walking. Without warning, Petunia stopped.

"What is it, Petunia?" the pink friend asked, unsure of the skunk's behavior.

"You can go on without me," the blue female replied. "It's okay."

Giggles looked back at the barn, raised an eyebrow, and went on her way. Her former companion started back to where the beaver and skunk were admiring their handiwork.

"Hey… Skitchy…" Petunia began, trying to get the male skunk's attention. "Could I talk to you for a minute? …Alone?"

The young mammal gulped, then began to shake and sweat nervously. He looked to Handy who smiled and nodded encouragingly. Turning back to the beautiful young woman before him, Skitchy nodded. Petunia smiled and led the orange skunk with the yellow stripe to a small clearing amongst the nearby trees. She sat on log and motioned for Skitchy to join her, who promptly did so.

"So…" Petunia started, unsure of what to say. "How are you feeling after… you know… the _accident_?"

"Oh!" responded the skunk, a bit taken aback. "Right… I'm fine now…"

"Okay, that's good…" she replied automatically.

An awkward silence hung in the soft breeze, broken only by birdsong.

Skitchy reminisced over the "accident" he had over a week ago. It had been him and Cuddles skateboarding when Petunia caught his eye. Skitchy's wheel hit a crack and sent him flying into the back of a garbage truck and rendering him unconscious. Petunia and Cuddles watched over him in the hospital.

It was almost a full minute before one of them spoke.

"H-How are you?" Skitchy asked with his eyes fixed on the grass between his feet.

"I'm fine," she looked over at the skunk's down-turned gaze. "But I've been thinking…"

"Oh?" wondered the bespectacled skunk with his hands clasped in anxiety. "Ab-About what?"

"I think…" Petunia continued as her slowness in answering aggravating Skitchy's nerves. "We should be friends."

Skitchy's already racing heart caught its second wind as Petunia's words sunk in. _Friends?_ He thought. _With Petunia? My crush?_

It was getting to be too much for the young skunk. Without a word Skitchy dashed off for home, leaving a sad and bewildered Petunia to sit all alone in the shade of the glade.

Meanwhile Handy focused on inspecting the day's work on Lumpy's new barn. After checking all the measurements and structural stability, the beaver nodded and smiled with supreme satisfaction at a job well done. Just as he turned to go home for the night, the beaver felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning, Handy found Lumpy admiring the barn's completion. The sun set on the two as they stared in awe of the expertly constructed building.

**End of Chapter One**


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Happy Tree Friends; that would be Mondo Media. I have, however, created an OC for HTF named Skitchy the Skunk. Oink makes an appearance here, and was created by Hankforthewin (used by permission). Appearing from the HTF canon are Petunia, Handy, Giggles, Lammy, Lumpy, Shifty, Lifty, Toothy, Mole, Cuddles, and Nutty.

**Days of Confusion**: A Skitchy Tale

"_Domo."_

"_O-genki desu ka?"_

"_Hai. Anno…"_

_*_Brrrriiing! Brrrrring! Brr-

"Hello?"

"Hey, what's up, b-tch! It's Oink!"

"Oh, hey man. Look, about the thing tonight…"

"Yeah, where the f-ck _are_ you, man? I'm getting my ass handed to me! Sh-t, DIE! Mua-ha-ha-ha!"

"Sorry… I'm kinda in the middle of my anime right now… can we reschedule?"

"Sh-t Skitch, p-ssying out again? Man… hey, come here, you! Ha ha! Taste my lead!"

"I guess so… sorry."

"Whatever. I'll let you get back to your h-ntai. F-ck! Not there! Sh-t!"

"It's not… okay, later Oink."

"Yeah, f-ck you."

*Click!

Skitchy the skunk turned back to the television that rested on a table at the foot of his bed. His gaze was fixed on the still image of the anime "Sugar Hearts Mega". Skitchy's mind turned to Oink, the pig gamer who had made plans to "raid" with him that night… plans Skitchy had forgotten. The orange skunk mentally kicked himself and decided to make it up to the pig somehow. Looking at the clock that sat atop the television, Skitchy decided it was time to turn in anyway. Yawning, he clicked off the TV and crawled under his tangled sheets, glasses still astride his nose. It wasn't long before he drifted off into slumber.

That morning Skitchy prepared himself for the work day ahead. He showered, ate cereal, brushed his teeth, and dressed in his morning attire (a hardhat). Today was Monday, and that meant that Skitchy would once again assist Handy in whatever manual labor job came his way.

**At Handy's home:**

"Morning, Handy!" Skitchy greeted the beaver who was in the middle of drawing up some schematics for the day's assignment.

"Ah, Skitchy! Right on time!" Handy responded, grinning at the sight of one of his favorite assistants. "We've got some underground cable to install today. You up for it?"

"Entirely!"

Just then the two happy workers were interrupted in their discussion by a high-pitched scream. Down the street they saw Lifty and Shifty running from a clearly shaken Lammy who was on the ground. Seeing the trouble, Handy and Skitchy ran after the two raccoons in an attempt to retrieve whatever the notorious bandits had taken from the female lamb.

Shifty looked back over his shoulder and instantly became concerned when he noticed Handy and Skitchy running after him and his brother.

"Uh oh!" the Fedora-wearing felon declared, getting Lifty's attention. Both of the thieves tried to pour on as much speed as possible to escape their pursuers, but the two laborers kept up in the chase.

As the raccoons rounded a bend, they found themselves in an alleyway that stopped at a dead end. They looked at each other and turned in fear to face the beaver and skunk who had chased them there.

"Uh, look, fellas," Shifty began, trying to talk his way out of the predicament. "It's not what it looks like!"

"Yeah!" Lifty, who was holding Lammy's purse, piped in. "We're innocent!"

"Save it for the cops, you scumbags!" declared Handy, scowling at the pair.

Ironically, Sheriff Lumpy arrived at that very moment behind Handy and Skitchy. The blue moose looked deadly serious in his aviator shades and gleaming badge. Shifty and Lifty both swallowed hard at his presence.

"We're really in for it now," Lifty muttered to his brother, who nodded in return.

"You two will have to come with me," Lumpy told the brothers coolly. "Skitchy and Handy, I expect you to return Miss Lammy's stolen possessions."

The two in hardhats nodded as the moose carted off the burglars who grumbled quietly.

When the beaver and skunk reached Lammy, she was sitting on the ground with tears on her face. The boys approached, and she looked up at their smiling faces in curiosity.

"What… what happened?" she sniffed.

"Shifty and Lifty robbed you, ma'am," Handy replied readily. "Skitchy and I stopped them and recovered your valuables."

With this statement, Handy nudged Skitchy to hand over the purse he held.

When Lammy took it she looked into Skitchy's eyes… and her heart leapt.

"You should really consider yourself lucky, ma'am," the beaver continued. "Those two don't normally give in so easily. I guess today was your day."

_Oh, it certainly is_! She thought dreamily as she stared at the orange skunk. _My hero_…

"Err, can I have my hand back?" Skitchy asked.

"Whoops!" Lammy burst out, realizing she had been holding the skunk's wrist for the past ten seconds. "Sorry…"

"That's okay," the yellow-striped skunk said. "You're stressed. Might I suggest you go home and rest for a while?"

"Oh… okay…" Lammy agreed, her breathing quickening. "Um… see you later?"

"Sure," Skitchy smiled and walked off beside Handy back toward his truck. They turned and waved to the lamb, who waved back with a big grin on her face. She stood and skipped cheerfully to her home. The day never seemed so wonderful to her.

"Well that was exciting!" Handy declared to Skitchy who rode beside him in the beaver's tow truck. "It's not every day you can stop a robbery!"

"Yeah, it was cool," replied the skunk in his typically mellow fashion.

"Mm-hmm," Handy went on. "And it's even better when you get to help someone as cute as that new girl. What's her name? Lammy?"

"I think so…" _Cute?_

"You know…" the beaver lowered his voice a smidge. "I think she might have a little crush on you."

"Don't be ridiculous," the skunk shot back while thinking, _Petunia! I like Petunia!_

"If you say so…" Handy wouldn't let up. "But I saw the way she blushed while holding your hand."

"Oh, hey!" Skitchy desperately tried to change the subject. "I love this song!"

The skunk who had spoken twisted the knob to increase the volume of Feedlot's second-biggest single, "Tell Me Nothing".

Skitchy annoyed Handy by singing along with the track that was unknown to the beaver as they parked at their destination.

"Okay, we're here," announced the handyman, reaching for the radio controls. When he remembered that he had no hands, the beaver scowled at nothing in particular and Skitchy turned the knob for him.

"Thanks."

"Sure thing, boss," the skunk smirked. "What are we here for again?"

"I told you already! We've got some cable to lay!"

"Pffh!"

"What?"  
"Nothing, I'm dumb," Skitchy was embarrassed by his lack of maturity. "So electrical?"

"Yep," Handy affirmed. "It's in the back… uh, could you carry it over to the area there with the markers?"

"You mean those little flag-things?"

"Yeah."

"Sure."

And he did so with the beaver supervising. After all the tools and equipment had been brought out, Handy nodded in satisfaction.

"Okay, time to start digging," he stated. "You start on that side, Skitch, and I'll be over here."

"Uh… you sure you don't need any help with that shovel, man?"

"I'm fine!" the amputee barked. "Just worry about your own sh-t!"

"Okay okay! Sorry!"

The two dug the two-foot deep trench for about three hours before it was completed. Then they took a lunch break and shot the breeze. After they had been eating for a few minutes, Giggles and Petunia walked by. Skitchy looked down shyly when Handy waved to them and gave a friendly 'hello'. The girls waved back in kind, but Petunia was disappointed that Skitchy wouldn't meet her eyes.

_Wow…_ she thought. _Did I do something? …What's the matter with him?_

The girls walked off and the boys continued their lunch until it was time to work once again.

"So what's the matter, Skitch?" Handy asked as he checked to make sure that the cable he had brought was the right kind for the job.

"What do you mean, Handy?" the skunk asked while busy measuring the size of the hole.

"I mean your sighing and moping!" the beaver answered. "You seem distracted by something… or some_one_, if you see where I'm going with this."

"Enough ribbing, already," Skitchy said, irritated. "I told you I'm not… she… mmmrmmrm."

"All right kid, all right," Handy chuckled. "I'll lay off. Now unroll the cable."

The two installed the new cable without any mishaps or delays and were done by around 4 o' clock in the afternoon.

"Well, that's that!" Skitchy declared, wiping his hands from the dirt. "Our work here is done!"

"You said it!" Handy made wiping motions of his own with his nubs. "Feels good to finish a job! Well, I'm gonna get me home. What's next for you, son?"

"I guess I'll go home too," the skunk replied.

"You do that," the beaver nodded. "Want a ride?"

"No, I'll walk, thanks."

"Okay, take care now!" Handy 'waved'.

"You too!" Skitchy waved back. Then he turned and headed for his house. On the way, he thought seriously about his feelings for Petunia.

_I wonder how I should start a conversation with her… I'm not good at this intrapersonal relationship stuff! Argh! Curse my natural predilection for bashfulness! Curse it to Hell! …..Hmm… I _could_ visit her at her job… yeah, I could use the old 'I'm just stopping in for a bite' approach… then I'd wait until her shift was over, and try to talk to her then! Yes! It's genius!_

With a plan in his mind, Skitchy skipped as he changed course toward the Happy Tree Café where Petunia worked the counter.

**While Handy and Skitchy were finishing up their cable work…**

"So Petunia…" Giggles wheedled. "I notice your _boy_friend didn't look at you when we passed! What's _that _about? _Hmm_?"

"Huh?" the female skunk played dumb. "I don't know what you mean."

"I think you know exactly what I mean," the pink chipmunk stopped in front of her with her hands on her hips. "Don't act you like you don't have feelings for him! I understand, I guess, since you're both skunks."

"You've got it all wrong," Petunia shook her head sadly. "I… I _did _talk to him, but…"

"Oh… I'm sorry," Giggles realized that something bad must have happened between them. "Did he turn you down?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she turned away.

"I understand… I'm here for you, P… don't ever forget that," she squeezed the skunk's hand and smiled consolingly.

"Thanks, Gigs," she smiled back weakly.

The two kept walking to the Happy Tree Diner, where Petunia's shift was about to start.

**Now…**

The bell that hung above the diner door dinged as Skitchy opened it to enter the eating establishment. He could see Mole and Nutty at a booth, and Toothy sitting at the counter. The skunk made his way over and sat beside the purple beaver with a friendly "hello".

"Oh hey, Skitchy," Toothy lisped ever so slightly. "You just get off work?"

"Yep," he nodded and grinned. "We laid some cable."

"Okay… is that supposed to be funny?" the beaver regarded the skunk quizzically.

"Never mind…"

"Can I take your order, sir?" asked a feminine voice from behind the counter.

"Um… I'll have the… um…"

"Geez, Skitchy! Make up your mind!" Toothy spouted impatiently.

"Sorry… the regular hamburger, please," he looked up at the waitress and gasped when he realized it was Petunia. He looked down quickly and felt his orange cheeks turning red. _Duh! That's why you _came _here, remember?_ He thought to himself.

"Right away, sir," Petunia answered to the order with a hint of malice in her tone. _Rahhrg!_ She thought. _Why won't he look at me? What's his problem?_ She angrily flipped the meat disc the infuriating skunk had ordered when Cuddles and Giggles walked in holding hands.

The couple sat at the booth next to Mole's and Nutty's. Petunia walked over to get their order and left Skitchy's patty on the grill.

"What can I get for you two today?" she asked pleasantly, professionally.

"I'll have a burger and shake like always!" Cuddles cheerfully exclaimed.

"And for you, ma'am?" Petunia turned to Giggles.

"A salad, please. I'm watching my figure."

"Okay, that's one burger, a shake, and a salad. I'll have it out in a jiff!"

"Thanks, P!" Giggles called after the skunk as she walked back behind the counter. Cuddles and Giggles returned to their conversation as they waited on the food.

Petunia was surprised to find the patty she had left on the grill had turned black and seriously over-cooked. Thinking it would be a good punishment for Skitchy's behavior, she served it with ketchup and pickles on a bun like nothing had happened.

"Here you go, Skitchy!" she said with a smile in her voice as she dropped the plate in front of him while he continued to avoid eye contact.

"Hey, your food's here, man," Toothy nudged the skunk to get his attention. "What's so fascinating about that street lamp out the window?"

"Huh? Wha? Oh, nothing," he was shaken out of his reverie. "Thanks for telling me, Tooth."

"Don't call me that, okay?"

"Sorry."

Skitchy set to eating his burger while his mind wandered off once more. His thoughts were so focused on Petunia that he didn't even notice how burnt and lacking in flavor his sandwich was.

The orange skunk exited the diner and sat on the bench out front. He checked the time on the clock tower above town hall (5:12) and waited for Petunia to come out so he could talk to her. After three hours she still hadn't shown up, so Skitchy walked home, disappointed and frustrated with his inherent shyness.

Petunia, unbeknownst to Skitchy, had already ended her shift at the usual time of 8:00 on the dot. The reason the male skunk hadn't seen her go was simply because she used the rear exit, which was more convenient for the blue female. On her walk home she remained angry with the orange skunk.

_The nerve of that guy!_ She fumed. _I pour out my heart to him, and he _avoids_ me! Not just _ignores_, but _avoids_! What a _creep_! That's it, Petunia old girl, we'll _never_ try to get involved with him _again_!_

Other sad and angry thoughts plagued her mind as she went to bed that night. It was almost two hours until she struggled into sleep.

**The next day…**

Skitchy noticed his answering machine blinking as he stepped into his kitchen. Pressing the button to play messages, he heard a familiar voice.

"Skitchy? It's Handy," the beaver said. "Sorry, but there's no work for us today. You take a break and enjoy yourself, all right? Have a good one."

Skitchy's smile widened as the handless beaver's words sunk in. Before eating breakfast, showering, or even putting on his favorite hat, the skunk was out the door and running to the Happy Tree Diner, a big goofy grin plastered on his face.

**At Petunia's House…**

Sun shone in through the bedroom window, peacefully waking the blue skunk who stretched and yawned luxuriously. After an hour of cleaning herself and making sure the house was tidy, Petunia called Giggles and asked her if she wanted to hang out.

"Sure, Petunia!" the chipmunk replied happily. "Oh… but I have work today at the hospital… maybe some other time?"

Disappointed in her friend's unavailability, Petunia sighed and thought of what else she could do on her day off. Suddenly an idea struck her.

_I could go shopping!_

**The Happy Tree Diner…**

_Oh… drat._

A sign hung in the window of the diner's main door. It read: 'Closed for some reason'. Skitchy exhaled and tried to think of something else to do. His thoughts turned to Oink, whom he hadn't had much personal contact with in some time. The portly pig was very pale from all his time spent inside, but Skitchy thought that maybe he could coax the recluse into joining him in a stroll around town. The skunk went back home and called Oink.

"Hey… uh, it's Skitchy."

"Yeah? Great, listen, I'm a bit busy right now- YOU MOTHERF—KER!"

"Whoa! Sorry!"

"Not you! C-CK BITE!"

"Okay… um, you want to hang out?"

"I'd f-ckin' love to. Come right over. SON OF A B-TCH!"

Skitchy ended the call and headed over to Oink's hovel, not knowing what to do about the situation with Petunia.

**The Mall…**

"Hey! Petunia!"

Lammy was sitting alone by the central fountain of the Treeville Mall when she spotted the skunk walking toward her direction. Hearing her name called, Petunia looked around and spotted the waving lamb on the bench. She smiled and approached, noticing that Lammy was snacking on popcorn.

"Hi Lammy," she smiled. "What's up?"

"Not much. I just caught a movie. So no work today?"

"Nope," Petunia shook her head grinning. "I've got the whole day off! Giggles is busy, but… would _you _like to go shopping with me?"

"Sure!" the lamb bleating excitedly. "There're a few places I wanted to check out! What are _you _shopping for?"

"Nothing in particular," she replied off-hand. "Just this and that… oh, I can't forget more soaps and detergent!"

"Okay! Let's go!"

The two happy girls walked together around the mall for hours, peeking in windows and trying clothes on. When they finally stopped and headed for their own separate homes, the sun had set.

"Bye Lammy!" Petunia waved as they parted outside the mall entrance.

"Um… Petunia?" the lamb hesitated.

"Yes?" she stopped.

"Are we… _friends _now?" Lammy looked down, embarrassed.

"Of course we are!" the skunk reassured. "Why? Didn't you think we were?"

"Not _really_…"

Petunia gave a slightly sad look.

"Poor Lammy," she said. "I'm not mad about what Mr. Pickels did. And you shouldn't blame yourself for its-his-actions. Remember the great tea party? I really enjoyed that, however brief it was. I really like you, Lammy."

Petunia hugged the lamb, who cried a little with joy.

"Th-thank… you," she breathed into the skunk's ear.

"You're welcome," she pulled away smiling from Lammy. "Now I've got to get to bed! And you should too! The farm festival is tomorrow, and we'll both need plenty of rest for that!"

"Okay," Lammy acceded. "Bye, Petunia!"

"Bye!"

**At Oink's house…**

*PWEW! Blat-blat-blat-blat-blat! PWEW!*

Oink had offered Skitchy his second game controller upon the skunk's arrival, and now the two were deeply absorbed in 'blasting the p-ss out of' (Oink's words) competitors over the internet.

"So you-*ratatatatatatatat*-do this sort of thing-*EEEEeeeeeew BOOM!*-with people from all over the world?" asked Skitchy, his voice broken by the violent sound effects.

"Yeah… *pop-pop-pop* big f-ckin' deal."

"Aww, hey, you shot me!"

"Those are the breaks," the pig shrugged.

The two boys played for hours. So engrossed were they, in fact, that Skitchy didn't even notice the light from outside dim into night. When he chanced to peer at Oink's wall-clock for a split second, the lateness of the hour finally dawned on the skunk.

"Oink!" Skitchy tried to get the pig's attention, without success. "OOOOIIINNNK!"

"Sh-t!" Oink responded. "You don't have to shout, you b-st-rd! What?"

"I've gotta get home! If I don't get some sleep, I won't be ready for the farmer's festival!"

"Who cares about something as f-ckin' stupid as the farmer's festival? Whatever, Skick, just go if you're gonna."

"Thanks man, sorry."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Um… did you just call me 'Skick'?"

"F-ck! Just LEAVE!"

"Okay, okay! Bye!"

**Lammy's house…**

Lammy sat on her plush sofa before the cheery fireplace in her living room. A steaming cup of tea sat on the table beside her, and in her hands she held a light purple notebook and a pen.

_Dear Diary_, she wrote.

_How are you? It's been a while since we've had the pleasure of each other's company, and I regret that. I must say things are going quite well now that Mr. Pickels has decided to take a short vacation! Don't you worry, we're still the best of friends, but sometimes I find that it's better when he's away… strange, isn't it? _

_Anyway, that's not the reason I'm writing today. The _real _reason is that I've recently met someone who I hope… I think… might be the one! My soul mate! It's very exciting, but I don't want to give away too much just yet. Let's just say that this certain someone is a certain… skunk… who was very nice to me._

_Okay Diary, that's it for now!_

_Signed, Lammy_


	3. Chapter 3

The Farmer's Festival: A Skitchy and Juniper Fanfic

Note: In case you haven't noticed, Happy Tree Friends belongs to Mondo Media. Skitchy and Juniper are mine, though. Also appearing in this chapter are Pop, Cuddles, Petunia, Giggles, Toothy, Handy, Russel, Nutty, Lumpy, Mole, and Lammy.

**Skitchy's house…**

A shrill alarm clock woke the slumbering skunk at 5:00 the morning of the farmer's festival. Skitchy blearily shut off the early racket and shuffled into the shower. As he went about the rest of his daily morning routine, the orange skunk's thoughts turned to what lay ahead of him for the day; specifically the farmer's festival itself.

_I wonder what it will be like this year… will Petunia win the Flower Gardening Prize again? And if she does… will I be able to talk to her? Will I regardless? And will Juniper be there? We haven't seen each other much since last year. Hmm… maybe I'll enter the pie-eating contest… I've been thinking of doing that…_

**Lammy's house…**

The cute little lamb with the bow in her hair sat down at her kitchen table to enjoy some all-natural oatmeal. She smiled as she tasted its steamy goodness, and thought about the farmer's festival.

_Petunia invited me to join her at the farmer's festival today… but I'm a little nervous about going. I've never been to one before, and I'm afraid that people won't like me… also, I don't know anything about farming. Oh well, I'll just make the best of it. I'm sure it'll be fun if Petunia's there!_

**Handy's house…**

The amputated beaver slept soundly. He never was one to get excited over something like the farmer's festival, and since no one had asked him to volunteer or build anything for it, he gave himself the day off and decided to sleep in.

**Petunia's house…**

The navy skunk took extra care with her appearance on this particular morning, because she wanted to impress the boys at the festival.

_Then I'll walk around with somebody on my arm and make Skitchy jealous! _She thought_. That'll teach him for the way he's been acting around me!_

Petunia put on more perfume than usual, and sauntered confidently toward Lumpy's farm, where the festival was being held.

**The Farmer's Festival…**

Lumpy's farm was packed with every Tree Friend imaginable. They were eating fresh fruits and vegetables, playing carnival games such as ring toss, and just generally having a great time. Skitchy wandered alone at first, but then spotted his friends Cuddles and Toothy over by the squirt gun race.

"Hey guys," the orange skunk waved to the two.

"Oh, hi Skitchy," greeted the yellow rabbit merrily. "Wanna race me and Toothy?"

"Sure!"

And that's what they did, with Cuddles winning by a hair. After the race, the three set off to find more fun games and look at oddly-shaped gourds.

**In another part of the fairgrounds…**

Petunia strutted around the different booths and stands, trying to attract the attention of some handsome member of the opposite gender, when she spied a face she'd never seen before examining a bushel of corn. Even though the face happened to be female, the stranger still made the skunk curious, so she went over to introduce herself.

"Hi there," she began with a friendly smile while holding out her hand. "My name's Petunia. I haven't seen you around before. Is this your first time to the farmer's festival?"

The light green beaver gave the cheerful blue skunk a look of pure malice, telling the friendly female in no uncertain terms that she needed to be left alone. Taking the hint, and being understandably shaken from the beaver's harsh glare, Petunia backed off and walked on while the beaver continued her perusal of the various vegetables.

Fortunately for Petunia, she soon found Giggles trying to make a basket at the Super Hoops game and the two walked around the farm together for hours.

**Back at the vegetable stand…**

Juniper the beaver inspected the various baskets and boxes full of a cornucopia of different vegetables and fruits that the farmers from all across the land had for display and sale. She meticulously weighed, measured, and felt for imperfections of all types of grown edibles. To her, it was very serious business indeed. The mint green beaver's straw hat shaded her shrewd eyes as she peered into the diverse containers, and the basket she had hung on her left elbow was already half full of excellent produce.

"May I help you with anything, miss?" asked a merry female squirrel from behind a folding table.

"No, thank you," she responded with an obvious lack of emotion. "I'm afraid your wares are not up to my high standards."

Juniper walked off as the vendor thought _what a cold b-tch_…

**At the Maize Maze…**

Mole stood adjacent to a wooden sign painted in bright colors that read "Cron Meaz". Apparently the sightless subterranean rodent constructed it all by himself… and he can't spell. There to try out the dubious course were Toothy, Skitchy, and Cuddles. The three friends entered the maze, and decided foolishly to split up at a three-way fork, each going off on their own separate path. Cuddles took the middle, Toothy went right, and Skitchy chose left.

The purple beaver was a little nervous at the slim size of the trail beneath his feet, but pressed on regardless. After several seemingly random turns and twists, Toothy realized that he was lost. Panic began to set in.

Cuddles' trail was wide, straight, and… boring. The adventurous rabbit yawned at the simplicity, and eventually decided to go back the way he came in. At the entrance, he decided to wait for Skitchy and Toothy to show up. In the meantime, he chatted with Mole.

The path picked by the orange skunk was so full of curves and circles that it actually made Skitchy dizzy after a while. As he walked in deeper, the narrower the dirt track became, until it tapered off and disappeared completely. Skitchy turned around to retrace his steps, but found that he had lost the path. The skunk's breathing sped up, and he began to sweat and become very anxious.

Toothy began to jog, and then run as he became more and more frantic. The loss of direction and enclosed environment had combined to create an intensely claustrophobic state for the poor beaver. He tore through the rows of corn towering above him with reckless abandon. Somehow he found Skitchy doing likewise watching him run adjacent and matching his speed. The skunk and beaver continued their mad race while searching desperately for the entrance/exit of the poorly constructed maze. After much exertion and fear, the two finally reached Mole and Cuddles at the portal of doom. The yellow rabbit had fallen peacefully asleep, and Mole was just sitting motionless on the straw-covered dirt. Toothy and Skitchy panted and hunched over as they tried to catch their breath after the grueling run. The beaver glared daggers at the snoozing bunny once his respiration had regulated, but the skunk just started to walk away.

"Hey Skitch, where you going?" Toothy asked.

Skitchy just shrugged and kept on truckin'. Toothy shrugged in kind, and began shaking Cuddles awake in irritation.

**At the flower section…**

Petunia and Giggles had finished their browsing, and set up a small flower stand. On display were petunias, roses, lilies, daffodils, tulips, and a few other varieties. A few visitors to the farmer's festival passed by and some bought a few of the flowers. Some time passed, and Juniper's signature straw hat came into Petunia's view.

"Uh oh," the skunk nudged Giggles. "That's the beaver chick I was telling you about."  
"You mean the one who snubbed you when you tried to make friends?"

"Yeah, she was totally rude! Wait, shut up, here she comes."

Juniper approached the modest flower display, and the two females. Petunia cringed slightly as the beaver perused her beautiful flora.

"Your azaleas are perfect," Juniper noted without looking up at the shopkeepers. "And I must say that great care has been put into the petunias, however… the roses are a tad wilted, and your tulips seem… faded."

She looked up and gasped at Petunia's scowling face.

"You leave her alone, you… you…" Giggles defended her best friend. "You… ice queen!"

Juniper looked shocked and then hurt by the chipmunk's harsh words. She hung her head and turned to go, when her way was blocked by Skitchy.

"What's going on here?" the skunk asked the two girls at the makeshift counter. "Why all the commotion?"

Skitchy looked at the heartbroken beaver and gasped in surprise.

"June!" he exclaimed. "I wondered if you would be here! …What's wrong?"

"Skitchy…" she sniffed. "It's… good to see you…"

The male skunk looked up from Juniper to Giggles and Petunia, who looked embarrassed and a little sorry for their actions. Skitchy's eyes were narrowed in disappointment at the two flower sellers, and the shadow created by the brim of his trucker cap gave the skunk's glare a sinister edge.

"What did you do to Juniper?" Skitchy accused, a growl in his throat.

"Uh…" Giggles started, thrown by the emotional reactions of the beaver and skunk. "I-I… I'm sorry!"

The pink chipmunk began to cry, and she ran off in shame and confusion. Petunia was fed up, and stood resiliently with her arms folded and a scowl on her face.

"_I _didn't do _anything_," the blue skunk retorted. "_She's_ the one who acted all snobby when all I tried to do was introduce myself!"

Skitchy's eyes softened a bit as understanding crept into his sensitive mind. He took Juniper by the hand and led her away from the altercation without a word to Petunia.

_What just happened?_ the air freshener-wearing skunk pondered. _Did Skitchy… _know_ that freaky chick? It sure seemed like it… Oh, I get it… _that's_ why he acts so reserved around me! He already _has_ a girlfriend and he's trying to stay faithful! Well, I respect that… shame that beaver's so ugly, though…_

With all these suppositions whirling in her head, Petunia nodded with newfound certainty and brought her attention back to her work.

**Behind the hammer game…**

Juniper and Skitchy sat with their backs against the unoccupied bell meter. The beaver cried while the skunk put his arm around her shoulders lovingly.

"It's okay, June," Skitchy comforted. "It'll be all right… I know you have a hard time with meeting new people…"

"It's not just that…" she whispered. "I… get so…_ focused_… and if someone interrupts…"

"I know, I know," Skitchy consoled. "You should rest now… don't think about it… it'll be okay…"

The two sat huddled there in silence for almost thirty minutes as Juniper composed herself. She stood, and they walked off into the crowd, healed feelings recovered by the noise and aplomb of the festival.

**The pie-eating contest…**

After parting with Juniper, Skitchy walked to where the pie-eating contest was about to begin. The orange skunk's confident smile slowly turned into a slight frown as he saw the other competitors. Lumpy, Russel, and Nutty sat at their assigned places with the regulation bibs fastened securely about their necks.

It was common knowledge that Nutty and Lumpy were pie masters (indeed, the neon squirrel had won the last three consecutive contests held by the Farmer's Festival Associates), and Skitchy's hopes for victory sank at their attendance.

He took his seat, and the contest judge stepped up to the microphone.

"Welcome everyone to the 11th annual farmer's festival pie-eating contest!" announced Pop, who had been elected to preside over the proceedings. "As you may know, the flavor of the pies this year will be apple! Also, the time limit has been altered from previous competitions. Instead of ten minutes, the FFA has decided to shorten the length of competition to eight minutes. On my mark, the competitors may begin their feast. Three… Two… One… Go!"

The four instantly threw their eager faces into the flaky crusts (Skitchy having removed his glasses and hat so as not to ruin them), and the timer ticked away as they set about their rapid chewing. After finishing his first pie, Skitchy spared a second to peek at his rivals' progress. Lumpy was daintily cutting his first pie with a knife and fork, apparently oblivious to the fact that it was a _contest_. Russel was making the same amount of headway as Skitchy, and Nutty… was already on his fourth. Sighing, the tangerine skunk continued eating away.

_Oh well_, he thought. _At least I get free pie_…

The buzzer rang for the end of the time limit, and two of the four stopped eating. Nutty and Lumpy ignored the sound and continued to stuff their faces.

"That's it! Everyone drop your pies and prepare for the counting!" Pop boomed over the speakers.

Someone had to go in and forcibly remove the pies from Nutty's vicinity, and then explain to Lumpy that he had to stop eating now.

"All right, the tally has been taken, and the winner this year is… _to no one's surprise_… Nutty!"

The lime squirrel giggled manically as he was handed a gold trophy with a pie crowning it. To his dismay, the gold pie was not edible, and he discovered this after losing a couple teeth trying to bite it.

"Now it's time for the sack races," Pop declared. "So everyone who will be participating in this event, please assemble over on the southeastern field!"

Skitchy returned his bib and put his hat and glasses back on. Then he walked in disappointment over toward a cotton candy stand where Juniper was waiting for him holding two sticks of the sugary pink stuff.

"So how'd it go?" the mint beaver inquired good-naturedly.

Skitchy shrugged, and accepted the proffered cotton candy gratefully.

"Well that's too bad…" Juniper noted. "But on the bright side: free pie!"

Skitchy smiled, and then the two laughed together and walked around the premises, enjoying the late afternoon.

**Flashback…**

A very young Skitchy without any spectacles or headwear whatsoever is playing in a sandbox with a red plastic shovel. Juniper at the same age and also without a hat totters over to join in the fun. The two smile and laugh together, until their respective parents part them.

**The present…**

Petunia was joined by an uncomfortable Giggles who smiled weakly at the fuming skunk.

"Sorry about running off like that…" the chipmunk apologized. "I- oh, hi Lammy!"

Petunia turned to see the lavender lamb admiring the flowers displayed attractively in baskets before the skunk and chipmunk.

"Hi Giggles! Hi Petunia!" Lammy responded cheerfully. "Your flowers are _gorgeous_! Which ones are yours, Petunia?"

"All of them," the ocean blue skunk replied proudly. "Giggles doesn't really garden much, but she does care about the environment a lot, and she helps me out with projects involving organic stuff."

"Wow! I wish _I_ could grow such beautiful things!" Lammy gaped in awe at the colorful petals and perfect stems. "Whenever I try to plant anything, I always forget about it and it turns out baaaad."

Giggles smiled a little at Lammy's pronunciation of "bad", but Petunia took no notice.

"Well Lammy," she began. "When you first plant the bulbs, you need to remember that different kinds of flowers require unique levels and types of soil. What have you tried to grow?"

As Petunia instructed the novice gardener on the finer points of flower gardening, Giggles yawned and let her mind drift away.

**At the sack race…**

Juniper entered the race just moments before it began, and Skitchy cheered her on from the sidelines. Juniper jumped for joy as she crossed the finish line in second place. Skitchy embraced her as they shared the moment.

**Closing time…**

Giggles, Petunia, and Lammy walked out of the main gate together with the two interested in flowers still gabbing away about them while the chipmunk felt like a third wheel. Her wandering eyes landed upon Skitchy and Juniper who were leaving at the same time a few feet away. Giggles frowned and shook her head at the sight of the two cavorting so.

_Meh_, she thought. _I guess that's just the way it goes sometimes… I'll find somebody for Petunia, and then she'll be happy… she'll know that feeling I get when I'm with Cuddles… yeah, I'll get started on that first thing tomorrow…_

The two groups diverged from each other and neither Lammy nor Petunia spotted Skitchy with Juniper. Giggles would have told her best friend, but she didn't want to upset the skunk so she let sleeping dogs lie.

"Thanks for today, Skitchy," said Juniper as they walked through the gate and paused. "I really had a great time."

"You're welcome," the skunk smiled congenially. "I'm sorry about what happened at the flower place, though."

"No, it's okay," she reassured him. "It's not the first time I've experienced something like that, you know. And I still had fun, so it all worked out in the end."

"Yeah…" Skitchy smiled. "You're my best friend, you know that?"

"I know," Juniper smiled back. "See you next year?"

"Count on it!"

The two parted in almost opposite directions, waved merrily as they did so.

When Skitchy came to his home, he reflected on the day and was glad to have such a good friend as Juniper. Then he thought about Petunia's feelings, and what she must think of _him_.

_I should've explained to her about Juniper, _he reflected_. She probably thinks that I'm June's boyfriend! I'd better tell her the truth…_

With these thoughts in mind, the marmalade skunk entered his house and soon fell asleep under a cloud-patterned blanket.

**To be continued…**


	4. Chapter 4

A Night on the Town: Skitchy Chapter 4

Discombobulater: Happy-to-the-Tree-to-the-Friends is the respectable property of none other than the magnificent Mondo Media, and all those humans behind it. Skitchy and Juniper are my original fan characters. Note: Also, this is in no way canon. Speaking of, the canon characters appearing herein include: Petunia, Handy, and Lammy.

It had been around two weeks since the farmer's festival, and Petunia still wasn't speaking to Skitchy. The tangerine skunk had waited by the phone for the azure skunk's call for hours the night of the festival, but it never rang. Sighing, he slept that night, trying to remain optimistic by reflecting on the good time he had with his old friend Juniper…

While they were fixing up some road near Main Street, Skitchy talked to Handy about his troubles.

"You know, Skitch," the nubby beaver replied to the skunk's tale of woe. "I've had something similar happen to me when I was about your age. My advice to you would be to just… leave off a little. You young people can be (no offense), a bit unstable at times. I think now it would be in your best interest to spend some time apart from one another, and see what happens. Who knows? You might even find somebody else who's a better match for you."

"I guess you're right, Handy," he consented. "From now on, no more moping! I've got my whole life to live! There's plenty of time for me to find my true love! For now, I'll just do the best I can to make every day good!"

"That's the spirit!" Handy encouraged. "Now help me with the cement mixer!"

Petunia flipped a burger patty and thought despondently about the events of the farmer's festival. Even though Giggles had assured her that she could/would/should find someone else, someone better, even, the skunk remained put out.

_This sucks, _she thought as she fried_. I finally find another skunk in this place, and it turns out he isn't even on the market! Just my luck… and I really liked the guy! Sure he was shy, and… distant, but he was cute and smart and… no, Petunia! Snap out of it! What's done is done, and it's time to move on!_

Nodding resolvedly to herself, the skunk resumed her work and tried hard to forget the feelings she had for the orange male.

Lammy slept in, since it was her turn to work the evening shift at the café, but when she _did_ awake, the lavender lamb was cheerful and full of pep. She brushed her wool and her teeth until both were white as snow. Then she checked the clock in the den, noticed that she still had three hours until work, and headed out the door to have a nice peaceful stroll around Treeville.

Skitchy wiped the perspiration from his forehead with the back of his hand after completing yet another building project with the armless beaver.

"Good work today, Skitch!" Handy slapped the skunk on the back with his… uh… skull. "This road should last the town for a good number of years to come! You go ahead home and get some rest!"

"Thanks, Handy," Skitchy responded in his quiet way. "I'll do that. It was nice working with you."

"Back at ya, kid," the beaver grinned. "Now get outta here!"

Skitchy nodded, smiling, and headed off across the street and down the sidewalk near the center of town.

Behaving rather out to pasture, Lammy peered through a shop window and admired the various goods behind it. One particular blue dress caught her eye, and absorbed her attention. She didn't even notice Skitchy walking by behind her until his shadow fell across her line of sight, and she noticed his reflection in the glass.

Almost gasping, Lammy turned to greet him, the skunk also preoccupied and oblivious to the lamb's proximity.

"Good afternoon, Mr…." the lavender lamb was unsure of the skunk's name, and paused as he turned at the sound of her voice.

"I'm Skitchy," the orange and yellow skunk replied, removing his hat to wipe his brow. "And you're…"

"Lammy," she smiled shyly, acting very cute. "I wanted to thank you again for all your help the other day."

"Oh yeah! Handy and I stopped the raccoon brothers from stealing your stuff a couple weeks back! Was everything there, and not broken or anything?"

"No, it's all just fine," the lamb continued to smile and began to slightly bat her eyelashes. "Um, so how have you been lately?"

"Oh, fine…" Skitchy grew a tad uncomfortable with this girl he hardly knew being so attractive towards him. "I've been helping Handy out with a bunch of projects, and stuff… um, how are you?"

"I'm great," Lammy half-closed her eyes with a far-away look. "Would you like to… um, that is, do you have any plans for… um, tonight?"

The tangerine male fidgeted and avoided eye contact while struggling for words. Giving up on them, he merely shook his head for a negative.

"Great!" Lammy jumped and clapped, then settled down to show she was collected. "Um, I mean… okay… um, would you like to… go… eat somewhere… with me?" She bit her lip, anxious at what his response might be.

Still looking away, Skitchy nodded an affirmative silently.

Lammy's worried expression quickly changed to one of sheer delight.

"Okay then!" the lamb chirped. "So… how about the diner? At… eight?"

"Okay," Skitchy finally managed to utter two syllables, but still sweat beaded heavily on his forehead. "Um… er… we'll… meet there?"

"Sure, yeah!" Lammy was hopping with excitement. "See you then!"

The lilac lamb dashed off, leaving Skitchy with a lump in his throat.

_Oh man_, he thought. _This is going to be a disaster, I just _know_ it!_

Petunia stored her work apron in her locker and said her goodbyes to the other employees of the diner when her shift ended. The ocean blue skunk stepped out into the cool night air and let a soft breeze play across her face. She smiled contentedly and headed for home. On the way, she passed Skitchy walking in the opposite direction.

"Oh! H-h-hi… Petunia," Skitchy managed to mutter as they passed with his eyes on the sidewalk.

"Hello," she replied coldly, her good mood ruined. "Skitchy, right?"

The two acquaintances stood still, neither breaking the tense silence for a moment.

"Yes…" _She_ _remembered my name!_ the orange male thought. _But… why is she radiating so much negative energy?_

"Hm," Petunia grunted in recognition. She made it a point to look away from Skitchy when speaking to him. "And how's your beaver bi- er, friend?"

"Handy? He's fine…" now Skitchy was really confused. He could sense the waves of rage emanating from Petunia.

"Don't play dumb with me!" she shrieked, finally facing the hapless bespectacled skunk. "You know who I mean! That- that _beaver_ from the farmer's festival! What's-her-name!"

"Y-y-you mean… Juniper?" Skitchy sweated and shook as Petunia continued to fume.

"Yes! Whatever! Where is that little- how-!"

_Calm down, now_, Petunia told herself. _Count to ten… okay. Now think about this, why are you so jealous? It's not like you were going steady with the guy, or anything… deep breaths… okay._

"Sorry about that… I got a little upset," Petunia took large, controlled breaths.

"It's… okay…" Skitchy had just managed to stop from running as fast as he could away from the unstable skunk. "Um… I understand…"

"So… she's your girlfriend, huh?" the navy-blue skunk looked disappointed.

"Juniper?" the male skunk responded, slightly surprised. "No! I mean, we've been friends forever, but… no!"

"What?" Petunia was puzzled. "But I thought… the way you seemed to care for each other…"

"Well yeah, I just said we were best friends! …Why?"

"Oh, no reason…" Petunia looked at the beautiful night sky, smiling. "Sorry, again. Um… are you doing anything Friday?"

"Not that I know of…"

"Oh, okay…" Petunia felt joy blossom in her breast. "Would you like to go see a movie with me?"

"Sure!" Skitchy almost shouted then regained composure. "I mean, yes… I'd l-l-… I'd really like to."

"All right, then! I'll pick you up at nine!"

With that, the female skunk strolled out into the night, leaving a befuddled Skitchy in her joyous wake.

Lammy cheerfully entered the diner, eyes blinking as they adjusted to the bright lights within. She found a seat at one of the vacant booths and gave her order (just water for now, thanks) to a Generic Tree Friend who was waiting tables. There she happily waited… and waited… and waited, sipping at the perspiring glass.

After more than an hour had passed, the little lamb began to grow anxious. She had gone through three glasses of water and visited the restroom twice, but still there was no sign of Skitchy. Finally giving up, she stood and apologized to her server that she wouldn't be ordering anything. Lammy just barely held back tears as she made her way out into the cool darkness.

Much to her astonishment, she found Skitchy walking toward her, not more than 20 feet away!

"Sorry I'm late," the skunk smiled apologetically. "I lost track of time and… ran into someone."

Lammy forgave Skitchy and they walked back into the diner together. The two ate and talked and both had a very nice time. After the meal was over and they had paid for their own meal, the skunk and lamb exited the establishment and paused to say their farewells.

"Thanks for having dinner with me, Skitchy," Lammy smiled in a kind of bashful way. "I had a really nice time."

"Sure," the skunk replied evenly. "Me too."

"Um, I hope we can… do it again sometime…" she hesitated. "Maybe?"

"Yeah, okay," Skitchy seemed pleased, but slightly indifferent.

"Great!" Lammy squealed with delight. "I'll see you Saturday!"

As the light purple lamb faded into the distance, the Clementine skunk scratched under his cap. What exactly was going on here?

Juniper stretched languidly as the alarm beside her bed chimed with its little brass bells. She smiled at the glorious sight of the rising sun just as it crested the hill that marked the end of her farm; then went downstairs to fix some coffee. With that coffee, the mint beaver also had some toast, orange juice, and eggs. She sighed serenely as she ate the delicious food and appreciated the wonder of Nature's beauty as the open sky turned red-orange.

After breakfast was finished, Juniper got herself ready for another hard day's labor. She showered, dressed, and went out into her fields to check on the progress of her many crops.

After a couple hours of tending the flower beds surrounding her chicken coop, her thoughts turned to the recent farmer's festival and the wonderful time she spent there with Skitchy.

_Oh, I wish there could be someone here like that_, she sighed to herself. _Somebody thoughtful and smart… and handsome_, she grinned. _But that's a daydream, there's nobody like that around this place_…

Exhaling in light of this harsh reality, Juniper returned to her work.

**Friday night…**

Skitchy distractedly strummed on an old acoustic guitar in his living room while watching the numbers change on his digital wall clock. Having never been on a "date" before, the skunk was understandably nervous. Before sitting, the skunk had showered, groomed, and dressed in his best clothes (a set of khaki pants and a plaid button-up shirt). By happenstance, Skitchy played a series of different chords that resembled the song "Clampdown" by The Clash. He smiled at this, and continued to play it more intentionally until he heard tires approach. Skitchy looked up to see a red convertible park in his driveway with Petunia behind the wheel. She was wearing a chic scarf and sunglasses (at night!) and waving to Skitchy who had risen from his porch.

"Hi Petunia," Skitchy began, a little shaken by Petunia's appearance.

"Hi," she said in response. "You can get in now."

"Um, okay," so the orange skunk sat beside the blue female and Petunia sped off through the night.

Lammy snored in her bed.

"So which one do you want to see?"

"Huh?"

"I _said_, which one do you _want_ to _see_?"

Skitchy shook his head, coming out of the love-induced fog that had clouded over his mind while an irritated Petunia narrowed her eyes at him.

"Um, oh! The… that one!" he pointed randomly at the posters behind the ticket counter, causing Petunia to burst out laughing.

"You want to go to…" she gasped in between guffaws. "…The Magic Princess Castle Adventure?"

Skitchy's face turned crimson as Petunia practically rolled on the gum-laden carpet in her mirth.

"No, Miss Smartypants!" the orange male retorted confidently. "The one next to it!"

"Ohhh…" Petunia became serious and followed Skitchy's finger.

It pointed to a picture of a man in shadows carrying deadly weapons at his sides. The title beneath his boots read, "I Will Kill You: Episode Three".

"Really?" Petunia held some disbelief. "You don't seem like the scary movie type to me."

"No way! I'm totally into scary movies!" Skitchy tried to defend his manliness. "I've seen 'Naughty Deceased' four times!"

"Do you mean 'Evil Dead'?" the blue skunk raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah! The one with the chainsaw! That's a classic."

"Uh-huh… whatever, let's get tickets!"

Skitchy gulped as Petunia led him away to the counter, immediately regretting his random finger-point.

To Be Continued…

*Will Skitchy get the girl? Will he get the crap scared out of him? What about… Lammy? Did you get the Electric Company (the original one) reference in that last sentence? Are you tired of reading this yet? Is 'Naughty Deceased' really the name of something? Will Flippy ever turn up in my story? Tune in next time to find answers to all these questions, and more! Will Juniper get a boyfriend? Argh, I can't stop!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: The Situation Escalators**

[Oh no, not this again! Fine… *sigh* Happy Tree Friends is Mondo Media's brainchild and wunderkind. Skitchy the Skunk and Juniper the Beaver are belong to me. This story is not canon, but the following characters are: Flippy, Petunia, Giggles, Flaky, Cuddles, Mime, and Toothy. Let the show commence!]

Skitchy could finally relax after Petunia and he were settled in their seats. They were early enough that the previews had not yet begun, and Petunia took this time to play the trivia slideshow game that the theater put up to kill time.

"Jessica Rabbit!" the azure skunk declared, completely confident that her answer to the question, "Who played Brittney Hunter in 'Shades of Beige'?" was correct.

The slide changed, and the answer was revealed to be 'Dot Warner'.

"Oh shoot," Petunia huffed, disappointed. "I thought for sure I had that one!"

Skitchy had no interest whatsoever in Hollywood trivia, and so sipped quietly at his soda, content to admire Petunia's beauty in silence.

"Hey, the previews are starting!" Skitchy's date announced to no one in particular.

Indeed Petunia was right, for there on the screen appeared that oh-so-familiar slide of green backdrop and white text reading 'This preview has been approved for all audiences'.

Skitchy always zoned out when the previews came on, but Petunia reacted strongly, making comments and generally talking when she shouldn't. The orange skunk became impatient for the feature to start, but remained still.

Closer to the screen, and chomping away at a large bag of popcorn sat a cheerful Flippy, resplendent in his signature military fatigues and beret. Although he was alone this day, the light green bear was in quite merry spirits. He laughed at the comedy previews, gasped at the scary ones, and almost cried at a drama. Then it was time for the feature presentation to begin.

Scene opens on a campground in the woods at night. Five teenagers (played by Mime, Cuddles, Toothy, Giggles, and Flaky) are seated around a campfire, roasting marshmallows and shooting the breeze.

"Eh heh heh heh," Flaky gives her trademark nervous laugh. "Well this is… nice… thanks for inviting me, Brandon."

"No problem, Sarah," Cuddles (Brandon) replied, his arm around Giggles. "Glad you and Phil could make it."

Toothy smiled at Flaky (Sarah) who returned the gesture.

"So what about that story you were gonna tell me?" Toothy asked Cuddles.

"Ah yes, the legend of these very woods," "Brandon" began, voice intentionally changed to a creepy, mysterious tone. "It all started about fifteen years ago…"

Flippy grinned as the actors onscreen became more and more frightened by Cuddles' tale. Even though the plot was severely hackneyed, and the actors weren't very good, Flippy found himself enjoying the picture immensely.

Meanwhile, Petunia and Skitchy sat shivering; scared by the movie in spite of their own maturity. Although it was a rather obvious set-up, the two jumped when the killer first popped out from behind a tree. Petunia held back a shriek and covered her eyes, while Skitchy was too afraid to move. The rest of the movie followed the typical slasher formula, and even with this being the case, Skitchy and Petunia were scared by every murder and/or surprise all the same.

Flippy smiled to himself throughout the film, and at every death scene he chuckled darkly.

Once the credits had begun to roll with a backdrop of dripping blood and heavy metal music, the audience warily left the theater and headed for their homes and/or vehicles. Petunia clutched Skitchy's arm in fright, while the orange skunk trembled in the aftermath of the violence he had just witnessed.

"Well… _that_ was certainly scarier than I had expected!" the shaken skunk commented to his date.

"You weenie," the female condescended, even though she herself was just as terrified. "It's only a movie!"

"I know… but still!"

Flippy overheard the skunks' conversation as he was behind them in the throng exiting the theater and smiled to himself.

_The youth of today…_ he thought. _They're all soft!_

Back at Skitchy's house…

The tangerine skunk and the sapphire one exited the sports car simultaneously. Petunia walked with Skitchy to his door, and the two paused awkwardly.

"Um, thanks for the… uh, date… Petunia," Skitchy faltered, eyes glued to his doormat. "It was… really nice."

"Yeah… I mean, you're welcome. Um… can I… come in?" the female looked hopefully at the bashful skater who struggled to make eye contact.

"Ye-ye-yeah…" he stammered, even more overcome by shyness. "I suppose…"

They entered, and sat beside each other on the one modest sofa in the living room. At first the two couldn't look at each other, and simply sat silently.

"Um, would you like… something to drink?" Skitchy asked after a moment. "We have orange juice… water… milk…"

"Just water, please," Petunia replied. "Thank you."

Skitchy left to fetch the drink while Petunia had some alone time to think; and think she did.

That was a pretty scary movie, she reflected. But I could've played a much more convincing female lead! Giggles was okay, I suppose. Anyway, I was surprised Skitchy didn't try to hold my hand or anything during the really frightening bits. I guess he really was scared! Hmm… still, he's totally cute. Maybe…

Petunia was shaken out of her meditation by the return of her date that came bearing clear glasses of iced water for the two of them. As he returned to his seat, Petunia faced him with a rather serious look on her face.

"Skitchy, I think we need to talk," she stated flatly, causing the other skunk's visage to wrinkle slightly in curiosity.

"Um… what about?" he asked nervously, hands fidgeting.

"You and me," Petunia replied. "We… that is, I'd like to…" she took a deep breath, then blurted, "I'dlikeustobeacouple."

Skitchy blinked, unsure of what the flower-wearing female had just said. "Um… what?"

"I'd like us to be a couple," Petunia repeated. "That is, if you don't mind, of course."

"Oh…" Skitchy's brain had to adjust for a while, letting her sentiments sink in. "Oh… okay… um…"

"Great!" she grinned broadly. "Now would be a perfect time, then, to…"

Petunia leaned in to the dumbstruck Skitchy and kissed him deeply on the mouth. The orange skunk froze in surprise, but as a pleasant and warm sensation began to envelope his body, he managed to return the kiss as the two skunks embraced on the plain couch.

"Oh, it's getting late!" Petunia declared after they had parted. "I'd better get some rest, it's my shift tomorrow! Bye, Skitchy… and thanks…"

Skitchy was left speechless by Petunia's actions, and could only nod feebly after the female skunk vacated his home, leaving behind her a pine-fresh scent.

After that night, Skitchy and Petunia's relationship became significantly steadier. They went on dinner dates, saw more films at the theater, and just spent time together in general. No two Tree Friends could be happier. But then, one day…

***Psych! You'll just have to wait until the next chapter to find out what happens! Sorry, but that's the way it is. Yep, there's Flippy here, for no apparent reason (yet!), and it's kind of a short chap, but yeah, see you soon!


End file.
